Straight Up the Mountain

from Petrarch's "The Ascent of Mount Ventoux" : "Once more I followed an easy, roundabout path through winding valleys, only to find myself soon in my old difficulty."

It's reassuring to realize that Petrarch has some of the same weaknesses and foibles I do -- I skirt the mountain too, hoping for an easier path, or just because I'm too afraid to commit fully to the climb. If I never commit, I never fail. Of course, I never succeed either. And like Petrarch, who looked three times for an easier way up the mountain, I didn't figure it out the first time either.

Petrarch considered carefully who he would ask to accompany him on his ascent -- one friend was too timid, one friend too loquacious. One was too sad, another overly cheerful. In the end he asked his brother. His brother was the one who headed straight up the mountain, while Petrarch was fooling around looking for an easier way, and Petrarch, in the end, who expended more time and energy achieving his goal.

If I think too hard about all the time I've wasted ascending my mountain, I'll probably crawl under the bed and commune with the dust bunnies. But that would only waste more time. I'll be 50 sooner than I want to acknowledge -- I don't have the time to waste. Maybe the memento mori poets had it right. (Of course, they were mainly hoping to get laid. )

I create this blog for some accountability -- to remind myself daily what my goals are and that I am strong enough to get to the mountaintop.