Beetle Invasion

I am not a woman of great patience. Those of you who know me will not be shocked by this news. So if one more person says to me, "You know, you're living in the country now," I am not responsible for my actions, which might involve a rotary cutter and rubbing alcohol. Just because I have relocated does not deprive me of my right to bitch.

The lady bug mimics have invaded my home! Those beetles that look like lady bugs but are literally pale imitations minus the sweet disposition and the predilection for staying outside among the flowers are crawling across the ceilings, dying on the carpets and generally clogging up my life -- not to mention my vacuum cleaner. As it is with mosquitos and crossing guards on Interstate 80, they serve no useful purpose. They swarm, they bite and they stink if you squish them. I cannot utter "YUCK" with enough force or meaning.

And to those of you who like to remind me where I live now, let me just remind you that I have lost my boots in manure, walked acres of beans, herded cattle, tried to herd hogs, sprayed thistles, thrown hay bales out of the hay mow and dressed chickens with a hangover. I know where I am.